The Daddy Returns
by topsy-turvydom
Summary: Naruto misses his dead father, so he decides to make contact with his spirit. But as the title hints, he gets more than what he wishes for. (AU Two-shot)


A home-made chocolate cake with 16 orange candles, colorful party balloons all over the house, special ramen on the dining table, and dinner with my family and friends… Great picture, isn't it? That's the last birthday I spent with my dad… in HD.

As I replay his final memories, I sit in our living room with Sakura-chan next to me and with teme on the other couch. To be honest, I'm not sure how I can survive the day without these two. You know why? 'Cause today is my dad's death anniversary.

"Stop crying. You look like an idiot, idiot."

I wipe the snot trickling down my upper lip and glare at the teme. "Easy for you to say! You still have your parents with you. Itachi didn't just kill them one night and you didn't get to be a crazed teenager looking for revenge or anythin' like that. You totally have no experience whatsoever how it's like to lose a loved one!"

"How melodramatic."

Sakura-chan swats his arm. "Sasuke-kun, you're making him feel worse."

"I didn't do anything." He dares to grumble. "Staying at home to reminisce about a dead father is bound to make you feel worse."

"Well, at least go easy on him… You know uncle Minato just died last year. You can't blame Naruto for acting this way."

On cue, flashes of my dad's kick-ass dazzling smile, to-die-for handsome face, and gorgeous blonde hair – I got them all, by the way – play before my very eyes. I can't help it – feeling like the very thing that comes out of your a-hole, that is. I swear these tears have a frigging mind of their own, 'cause they just overflow and wet my cheeks without permission.

An ear-splitting bawl disturbs the entire house, and before I can give the culprit a piece of my mind, I realize the noise is comin' out of my mouth. Good thing mom's at work, or else she'd freak again and get a hold of the fire extinguisher – no, not the second, not the third either, but the fifth one she's bought this week. FIFTH. In a span of one week! Are you hearing me? Well, with the noise I'm making at the moment, I take it you hear me loud and clear.

"Goodness. Scratch that, forget what I just said." Sakura-chan grabs the remote control. She hits the power button. And the DVD stops. My dad disappears to black just as he's about to smear some icing on my cheek.

"Sakura-chan! Why'd you do that?" That's me talking. Civilly.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Sasuke-kun, Naruto. You can't keep on grieving like this. You have to move on and accept your dad's fate. If you break down everytime you see his face, watching his videos all day won't help you recover."

I sniff and rub my cheeks dry with my jacket's sleeve. "You don't understand… I've been with my dad since I was a child… you know, before life removed all the innocence? Back then, my father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me, and then spin me around 'till I fell asleep. Then up the stairs–"

"Yeah, yeah, we know the rest."

Here's a quick trivia: Most of the time, Sakura-chan pictures a rainbow sitting above her head. And right now, that's exactly what she's doing. How do I know that? You see… her eyes tend to roll up as if tracing some kind of imaginary arc. Now if we apply some serious mathematical calculations here, we'll get that arc equals rainbow. Get it? Aren't I a genius or what?

I sniff again. "Then… you get where I'm rooting from, right? I just really miss my dad is all. I don't think I'm ready to let him go. I mean, his death was so sudden and I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. I really wish there's a way I can talk… to-him… a-gain… Now wait a second. I have an idea!"

Teme flips through the magazine he's been reading. "That's a first."

I ignore him, 'cause I'm just getting to the interesting part of this story. "Sakura-chan, isn't there a person who uses some kind of… I don't know, powers? to reanimate the dead? Wait. Before you jump into any ideas, I'm not saying we let them turn my dad into some zombie or whatever, although I think they can do that too; BUT they can also just call out to the dead's spirit. You know, just have a little chat with the soul and all that? THAT is what I'm talking about. Okay, so… where was I? Oh, right. The person. There IS someone who can do that, right?"

A pink brow curls up. "You mean a necromancer?"

"Necro… what?"

"A necromancer. That's what you call someone, who – as you've said – makes use of black magic to communicate with the dead."

"Oh. I thought they're called ninjas or something… Anyways…" I join my palms together and put on my best puppy pout. "Could you pleeease help me find one? You know more than anybody else how much I miss my dad. I really badly desperately need to talk to him one last time. So please please please, help me?"

Sakura-chan stares at me for a while; then she turns to teme, who's supposed to be meeting her gaze so they can exchange wary looks or maybe have a silent agreement on the topic "He's gone nuts, isn't he?"

But contrary to what he should be doing, teme's still reading the magazine.

Now here's the deal: In the book of "The Million Things Teme Cannot Do," written by yours truly, cooking may very well be on page one. So I don't really get why he's so into my "Ramen Flavors and How to Cook Them" magazine right now. And from the twitch of Sakura-chan's eyebrow, I'm guessing she doesn't get it either.

She kicks him on the shin. Teme glares at her. Sakura-chan smirks then turns to me, trying to pull an innocent look. And doing a hell of a good job at it.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Naruto." She says, unaffected by Teme's I'll-fry-you-alive-with-my-badass-glare look.

"But I need to do it, so I can put a stop to this suffering!" I place my hands over my chest for a more dramatic effect, unaffected by Teme's I'll-fry-you-alive-with-my-badass-glare-next-if-you-don't-shut-the-hell-up look.

"This is not just for my sake, you know." I go on. "I wanna be strong for mom, too. I wanna show her that if I can move on without dad, then so can she. You know, sometimes I'd listen outside her door, and I'd hear how my mother cried for him. I pray for her even more than me. I pray for her even moore thaaan meeeeeeeee… Te-nen-ten-ten…ten…ten…"

They stare at me (yes, **they** – even the teme!) Hold on, let me rephrase that: They **gape** at me as if I've just turned into Mr. Vandross himself. Not to brag or anything, but I do have a pretty good singing voice.

I clear my throat, take a sharp breath, then… "I know I'm prayiiiiing for much too much–"

"Fine, fine, we get it!" Sakura-chan cuts in. Oh, there it goes! The rainbow thingy, that is. Told you she does that often. "We'll help you find a necro, BUT ONLY if you stop wailing like a baby everytime you watch your dad's videos."

I nod and feel my mouth stretch to my ears. "Deal."

"And Naruto?"

"Hm?"

"Next time you recite some song lyrics, you can omit the instrumental part."

Elasticity – that's a common property between a rubber band and my grin… it's a property, right? Well it's got to be. 'Cause that's what Sakura-chan wrote in our last Physics homework… which I just happened to have a glimpse of… while it was on her desk… and while she wasn't looking. …Uh… we're getting off topic here.

Let's go back to elasticity, shall we? So, you know that moment when you hold a rubber band on both ends, stretch it as far as it can go, and then release it suddenly? Yeah, just like that, my grin falls with a snap.

"I was singing, Sakura-chan. It's called singing! Sheesh."

* * *

><p>It's bronze, it's a serpent's head, it looks to be biting a metallic loop that's about twice its size, it has ruby stone eyes staring back at us, and it's attached to the black wooden door of the necro's place. Any guess what that is?<p>

For once, Teme made himself useful and told us that he knows a black magician. This dude happens to be an ex-member of Itachi's college fraternity. Apparently, he became a professional spell caster, far from the medical course he graduated from. We had to search for his address though, but that's fine by me. For a chance to talk to my old man, I'd search for this necro with all my strength. I'd swim the seven seas, climb Mt. Everest, take a dive at Niagara Falls, run the stretch of the Great Wall of China, and reach the highest level of Tetris. To my ginormous relief, I didn't have to do any of those, since I could just turn to Google. Saved us a great deal of time, too.

And so… among the website suggestions for some crazy cool anime with sannins and hokages, the right link led us here – a two-storey building sandwiched between a barber shop and a wig shop. Few people and cars passed by the streets, probably because this is a secluded part of town. Puh-lease… What a super cliché setting for a horror story.

"Naruto?" Sakura-chan whispers behind me. "It's not too late to reconsider your plan, you know."

I shake my head. "There's no backing down, the three of us have come a long way to get here."

Teme growls next to Sakura-chan. "Why am I dragged into this?"

She elbows his side. Teme glares at her. Sakura-chan doesn't notice 'cause she's looking at me all along. "Actually, 'here' is only a thirty-minute drive from your house. But whatever, just hurry up and knock. This place gives me the creeps."

Remember our little guessing game? Right. Place in your final bets people, 'cause I'll tell the answer next.

I turn to the door (wait for it…), grasp for the knocking device (Ta-dah! There you have it. Did you guess it right?) and make it work for three consecutive thuds.

Few seconds pass, then the sound of unlocking latches comes from the other side. The door creaks open to a crack, where a white-haired man peers through.

"Who are you kids?" He says, voice low and guarded.

"Um… Good day, sir. I'm Naruto and these are my friends. We're looking for Mr. Orochimaru? So… can we talk to him? Please?"

Dark eyes narrow behind a pair of specs. "What's your business?"

"We, uh… You see, we heard that Orochimaru can call a dead man's spirit, so we're hoping–"

"Dead, you say?" He swings the door wide open then gestures for us to step inside.

So without another word, we walk past him and into a room with dim yellow lights. Before he closes the door, I spot an angry man with a shaved head passing by, shouting curses at the barber shop next door. Based from the direction of his gaze, I'm guessing he's headed to the wig shop at the other side. Talk about convenient shop locations.

The white-haired man locks the many bolts and latches, then turns to face us. "Follow me."

So we do. The place resembles that of an antique gift shop: noisy floor boards, dusty furniture, and full of old-looking… stuff. By stuff, I mean rows of medieval-looking bookshelves, out-of-this-world statues, some large vases and jars, animal skulls on the walls, and pretty much every creepy item you can and cannot imagine.

There's a wooden counter at the far corner, and for a second, I think this might really just be an antique shop. But then we pass the counter and walk through the curtain behind it. By curtain, I mean those strung-together seashells you hang by a door – those small colorful ones that make clicking noises whenever you move them aside.

We end up in another dimly lit room, where shelves lined three of the four walls. But the shelves don't just hold books, no. There are also some glass containers similar to the ones we use in our chemistry class. I forgot what they're called. Sakura-chan knows them, I'm sure; but right now, I'm too freaked out to open my mouth and ask (if you know me personally, that right there can be a miracle in itself, I'm telling you). Anyway, back to the shelves… there are jars of unidentified floating objects, some garlic, some dried leaves, some potted plants, some… dolls? What the– Are those voodoo dolls?

A chill runs down my spine then crawls back up to my armpits and limbs, earning a standing ovation from the hairs on those places. At the center of the room and right before us is a crystal ball on a small circular table. At the far right wall – the only one without a shelf – two small couches face each other with a coffee table in between. The man sits then waves his hand, beckoning us over.

"I'm Orochimaru-sama's apprentice, Kabuto." He says, as soon as we manage to squeeze ourselves on the other couch, with me sitting in between Teme and Sakura-chan.

Then we play a game of 20 questions where Kabuto asks and we answer. No duh…

"Where's your master?" Teme asks suddenly.

"Yeah, where's your master?" I second the notion.

Kabuto pushes up his glasses with _the_ _finger_ – I wonder if he did that on purpose. "Orochimaru-sama's out of the country at the moment. I'm afraid he cannot aid you with your demands."

"WHAT?! Then why didn't you say so in the first place?" That one's me. Obviously.

He shrugs. "I'm merely curious about your case. It has been a long time since we dealt with clients asking for necromancy. Most of them asked for it only to extract valuable information from the dead, more likely a safety combination or the whereabouts of a rumored hidden treasure. I must say, you're one of the few who have fairly good intentions. But unfortunately, Orochimaru-sama's not around."

Sakura-chan fidgets beside me. "Then, how about you? You're his apprentice, right? Can't you do it?"

"Yeah, can't you do it?" I second again.

Kabuto shakes his head. "Necromancy requires a very meticulous ritual. It could only be perfected with mastered skills, and I have yet to reach my full potential at using black magic. The method I know of can be quite risky. Moreover, I haven't put it into practice yet. On the other hand, Orochimaru-sama's method is more accurate, but of course, it also comes with a reasonable cost. I doubt some high school kids could afford it though. But I wouldn't be so sure of that, would I?"

"About that…" Sakura-chan drawls, turning to me with narrowed eyes. "Naruto, we haven't discussed about the money."

Teme pierces me with a glare. "How will you pay them, dobe?"

I force a grin to lighten up the mood, hoping it doesn't look like a sneer. What do you think? Does it? "Ehehe, you guys… Am I not your awesomest friend in the whole wide world? I mean, what are friends for, right? Can you lend some help to a friend in need? C'mon, we all know you two have more bucks than I do…"

Threat sparks in their eyes, burning the short strings of patience connected to their explosive tempers.

Did I mention I'm sitting in between them?

I choke a few laughs, and then stop, and then gulp, and then whisper, "Please?"

After more talk, some price negotiation, and a few beatings (aimed at yours truly), it's settled that Kabuto will be the one to do it. Much cheaper that way.

You see why Teme and Sakura-chan are such awesome people? No matter how much they disagree with me on the outside, they end up doing the opposite anyway. Great friends really are hard to find, yeah? And these two sure are lucky to have me. You got the proof right there. They'll do anything to keep me. But of course, unlike the teme, I have my ass-ness under control. So I can say I'm goddamn blessed to have friends like them, too.

Kabuto warns us that the ritual may or may not be successful. He even offers that we don't have to pay if it fails; says he'd consider it as practice and whatnot.

So, there may be some kind of impending danger, but that's fine by me. For a chance to talk to my old man, I will take the risks.

* * *

><p><em>To be continued...<em>


End file.
